The Jihadi's Day In Court

On the Guantanamo front, it seems as if things are finally moving.

This week, the decision was finally made to to move the
self-proclaimed mastermind of the 9/11 attacks,
Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, to New York City to stand trial
for his role in those events along with four of his alleged
compatriots.

Yes, I have to say, I am impressed.

After five years of self-imposed legal wrangling, it seems
we've finally decided to get on with things and let the
Wheels of Justice turn. But, things could still go wrong.

To begin with, there will be years of more legal wrangling
to decide just what to charge Mohammed and his cohorts
with and where to prosecute them.

Do we charge them with terrorist acts ( a federal crime),
or with 2,000+ counts of first-degree murder?

The latter would have to be prosecuted in New York State
courts - which would lead to years more legal wrangling.

And don't think for a minute that the jihadis would lack
for legal representation - the New York City Criminal
Defense Bar will be all over this like a cheap suit, in
pursuit of both reputations and the considerable retainers
the Saudi Royal Family will provide.

The chances are excellent that these individuals will have
better, bigger-name legal talent for their defense than will
the prosecution.

And when you get down to the evidence, the prosecution
will have even more problems.

It appears that so much of the damning evidence was obtained
by torture - Mohammed himself was "waterboarded" a reported
136 times - that it will not take much to convince some liberal
Federal District or Appeals Court Judge to throw out the entire case.

Naturally, the more gruesome aspects of this "torture" - as well
as the "unlawful" nature of the defendants' apprehension and
detention, will be well emphasized by the defense.

But, there's a way out of this - if President Obama and
Attorney General Holder have the stomach for it.

First of all, Obama and Holder can simply remove Mohammed
and the others from the jurisdiction of the Federal Courts and
of the courts of New York State.

They can do this by simply re-affirming all of the Bush
Administration legal memoranda and findings regarding
terrorists and terrorism, and the prescribed means for their
prosecution and punishment.

These memoranda anticipated the problems inherent
in affording terrorists and unlawful combatants the
protections of our legal system, and provided means
to overcome them.

Sure, there may be some howls from liberals and the
Anti-Bush crowd - but that would be nothing compared
to the uproar that would ensue if these "jihadis" were to
walk free, thanks to the generous protections of our legal
system.

So let's get on with things. Let's have The Mother of All
Show Trials, right in Manhattan, under special rules similar
to the Military Commissions envisioned by Bush.

First, Military Judges - picked from officers who have
served in Afghanistan or Iraq. Have to have people on
the bench familiar with the Islamic mindset. And let's
bring in Eliot Spitzer (or even Rudy Guiliani) as Special
Prosecutors.

We can count on them to be both fair and just.

For the defense? Let them have whoever they want - but, as
the outcome of this tribunal will be explicitly pre-determined,
it won't matter.

And, to make things fair, we'll also have a jury - twelve relatives
of Police and Firefighters who lost their lives on 9/11.

And no appeals of any kind - this tribunal's judgment will be final.

And the sentence? Ritual Defilement and Beheading at Ground Zero.

Let them be smeared with pig fat - and slapped by a
thousand shoes, after which they shall mount the scaffold
to be beheaded by the biggest, most muscular Orthodox Jew
volunteer we can find.

And let's have Al-Jazeera broadcast the entire proceedings live.

No it's not Justice - but healthy societies have as much need
for vengeance as they do justice. And vengeance is the only
thing the Muslim World understands.

So, let's oblige them. On with the show.